I Was #TeamPiz Before There Were Hashtags*

There is no choice. There is only Piz.

Proof, using many examples from things that aren’t Veronica Mars:

Piz Is a Nice Guy

I have to admit there is some personal bias at work here. I never really had a bad-boy phase. (I invite all the girls I know to do the same. It’s great! You get to stay on good terms with all your exes.) This often rears its head in pop-culture conversations, like the time my friend from high school said I was “obviously a Jack girl” even though we hadn’t talked since Lost premiered, or the repeated conversations about Reality Bites that have ended with “screw it, let’s agree to be #TeamVicki.” (Really, though, there’s nothing appealing about Ethan Hawke.)

Sure, Piz is a little square. Sure, it’s lame that he wanted to go work for Pitchfork. But he’s a nice guy. He’s never murdered anyone. He’s never slipped a mickey in anyone’s drink. He never provoked a fistfight. He’s never even coerced bums into fistfighting each other. If that’s square, then maybe square is good for Veronica.

But the best thing about Piz is that…

Piz Isn’t Logan

Let’s say you have a thing for the “obligatory psychotic jackass” type. Maybe bum fights turn you on. Who am I to judge? (Note: I’m totally judging.)

The only thing worse than a bad boy is a bad boy that a girl thinks she can somehow fix, heal, or redeem. A bad boy that, in the parlance of Girls, needs to be socialized like a stray puppy until the world is a friendlier place for him.

Logan is that puppy. And, just as I would get impatient with a real friend who’s wasting her time trying to change someone, I get frustrated when Veronica Mars takes up so much of its time with Veronica’s attempts to tame Logan—especially because Logan is more interesting as an antagonist than as a boyfriend. When you peel back the layers of hurt, there is nothing underneath but brooding.

If we’re stretching this metaphor to its breaking point, Piz is already housebroken. You can take him out into the yard and start playing Frisbee with him right away. Doesn’t that sound so much nicer than constantly being bitten?

They Didn’t Meet in High School

I once went to a YA book panel at the Brooklyn Book Festival, and someone during the Q&A portion of the event asked everyone on the panel if, when it came to Twilight, they were #TeamEdward or #TeamJacob. One of the authors—I wish I could remember who—said she was on #TeamBellaGotoCollege.

Correct answer.

I’m not saying the high school sweethearts never work out. But there’s something healthy about, you know, meeting other people. People who don’t think they’ve slept with you whilst wondering if you were possibly his half-sister. People who don’t want to involve you in any drug smuggling. People who aren’t related to the murderer of your best friend. Basically, the antithesis of the people you dated in high school (except Deputy Leo—he’s all right).

Even if high school isn’t such a rogue’s gallery, it’s still a good idea to meet people as a fully-formed adult. Enter the baggage-free Stosh Piznarski. Piz is a fresh start, a chance to have a functional relationship without all of Veronica’s history weighing down on it. And, since he’s such a nice guy (see above), he’s also her chance to be with someone who won’t get in the way of what actually makes the show interesting to watch (less fighting, more sleuthing).

Let this be a lesson to those of you who haven’t graduated yet: Look around. You don’t have to marry any of those people, no matter what Harry Potter did.

via veronicamarsconfessions.tumblr.com/
via veronicamarsconfessions.tumblr.com

Fans Should Never Get What They Want

This is basically the crux of the #TeamPiz ethos.

For everything that is good, there is a passionate, dedicated group of fans who are hellbent on ruining it. They don’t know that they’re destroying the very thing they love with their wants and wishes, but they are. And it is up to creators to stand firm against them, no matter how many fans take to Twitter and Tumblr to say that they just don’t know what they’re doing anymore.

In this case, it’s the infamous Team LoVe that is threatening Veronica Mars from the inside. Just as Sherlock shouldn’t be about Sherlock and Watson declaring their love for each other, Veronica Mars shouldn’t be about Veronica and Logan endlessly making up and breaking up. Both shows have something more interesting to do: solving mysteries.

After Logan’s story has run its course—after his transformation from privileged bully to wounded sad-sack with a heart of gold is complete—he has nothing left to contribute to the show except as an object to raise Veronica’s ire as needed. Except we don’t ever really need someone to constantly fight with Veronica. There are enough real evil-doers out there for that. Yet Logan remains, licking his wounds in his hotel room and causing the occasional fistfight-to-get-arrested-and-cause-more-fistfights. (Swoon?)

Sure, there’s a vocal segment of the fan base that finds the breakup/makeup drama the most compelling part of the show, but they should be ignored. Instead, Veronica should have a love interest that, as Rob already stated, shouldn’t steal focus so she could get on with what’s actually innovative about the show. If Veronica’s out in Neptune, poking around at the seedy underbelly of the town and bringing justice to the corrupt in power, that’s Veronica Mars. If she’s struggling with being an upper-middle-class girl trying dealing with romantic entanglements among California’s ultra-wealthy, that’s 90210.

Even then, I was always more of a Brandon girl.


*This actual quote should be attributed to Maggie.