Where does the difference between the past and the future come from? Mine? It was before I watched Hannibal and after I watched Hannibal.
NBC’s Hannibal aired its last episode on August 29, 2015. I didn’t watch it when it was on, but I caught up with it last year. I devoured the whole thing (pun intended), and it crawled under my skin and stayed there. It was a dark and beautiful show for a grim and scary time in my life, and I was lucky I found something that gave me so much to chew on so my thoughts wouldn’t turn to more worrisome, realer things. So here, 10 years too late, a selection of random musings on the show. I only hope that I could turn a phrase as well as Freddy Lounds in her Tattle Crime. (I wish I could’ve been the one to coin the phrase “murder husbands,” but, then again, I’m sure all writers do.)
Before I get going, though, I should remind everyone that we have a podcast episode about The Silence of the Lambs—one with actual, smart analysis, not just my fan-ish ramblings—and it touches on all of the other Hannibal Lecter-related media, including the TV show. I hadn’t seen it at that point, so you don’t have to worry about me gushing, That’s for here.
(Spoilers for Hannibal beyond the jump.)
Amuse Bouche: An Ode to the Two Split Diopters of Hannibal, Plus One Non-Hannibal Moment
Fun fact: The SportsAlcohol.com Slack has its own, custom split diopter emoji.
If I were a true smallscreeniphile, I would find a way to watch Hannibal on my laptop and take better screenshots. But Jesse is the Prime holder in the family, and our marriage is really better off if I don’t see how much he spends on toys, so I don’t want him to sign me in to the Prime account on my computer. Instead, please enjoy split diopter shots how they were meant to be seen: As photos taken of my TV from my couch.
Whenever anyone talks about “the split diopter shot in Hannibal,” they’re not talking about the one in “Tome-Wan,” so this one is the secret, second split diopter shot, even though it came first.
There’s the money-maker.
Not split-diopter related: After I’d finished Hannibal, Mufasa: The Lion King came out. Did I go because of Mads? Who’s to say. But I watched the movie about lions with the end of Hannibal rattling around in my brain, and then I was treated to this scene (again, apologies for the crummy quality of the GIF).
Slow it down, add some “Love Crime,” and I think Disney owes Bryan Fuller some royalties! (Bye bye.)
Appetizer Platter: Celebrating 10 Years of Hannibal With 10 Random Hannibal-Related Things I Still Think About All the Time
10. How Francis Dolarhyde has to eat the painting. This is a story full of transgressions. There’s murder, deceit, and cannibalism, which really is one of the last taboos we still have going. So I love how, when Dolarhyde eats the painting in the Brooklyn Museum, it still has the power to shock, even after the people-cooking. “You can’t eat the art!” I think every time. “That’s against the rules!” Manhunter is good, but Mann made a mistake by not having Dolarhyde eat the painting.
9. When Will is in his boxers, and Alana shows up, he says he wants to go put on a robe and she says, “I have brothers.” What?! Dude, we all have male relatives. Doesn’t make it normal to see your co-workers in their undies! Can’t blame Ms. Professional Curiosity for trying, though.
8. Is Thomas Harris not good at naming characters? We can even put aside the fact that he had a character who’s a cannibal and named him Hannibal. He really just did that. But then there’s poor Inspector Pazzi in Florence. I don’t really know Italian, but I know enough Italian to know “pazzi” means “crazy.” Inspector Crazy! Going after Il Mostro, sounds like something only Inspector Crazy would do! And then there’s the mouthful of Bedelia du Murier. It’s like a combo of Daphne du Maurier and…Amelia Bedelia?
7. When Reba brings Dolarhyde soup, she brings it in an OXO Pop container. Those are for dry ingredients, Reba! Unless you’re playing a long game and want to poison the Dragon with microplastics, it’s not going to get the job done.
6. This dress that Margot Verger wears.
5. When Will calls Molly, he dials all 10 digits of her phone number. Did he…not have his wife saved in his phone? It’s definitely a cell phone and not the motel’s cordless. Maybe he didn’t have a phone at all and had to get one? Or maybe he was afraid that Hannibal would steal his phone, so he tried to keep Molly’s number/address out of it? It didn’t work—Hannibal got Molly’s address anyway. Maybe it’s a sign that, while Will can hide Hannibal from Molly (but telling her just “enough” about him and nothing more), he can’t hide Molly from Hannibal—Hannibal can smell his family on him the minute he walks in the door. (It really was probably just a new phone, though—or was it?)
4. Speaking of smelling it on him, Hannibal tells Will he doesn’t like the aftershave he’s wearing, the same one Will wore in court—but Will has stubble for days. Do people use aftershave if they don’t shave? Do I…not know what aftershave is and what it’s used for? I would be pretty impressed, though, if Will put cheap aftershave on his beard just to troll Hannibal.
3. Was Francis Dolarhyde a good boyfriend? I know the answer, in the long run, is no. But taking someone to the zoo to pet a tiger under anesthesia is a freaking good date idea.
2. Hannibal plays the theremin for real. I only knew of the theremin as a producer of haunted-house noises and squelchy feedback on Jon Spencer Blues Explosion songs. I had no idea it could be used to play real classical music.
- This scene in “Dolce” when they’re in the Uffizzi.
If I saw you every day forever, Hannibal TV show, I would remember this scene.
Main Course: What I Would Do for Season 4
In my version of Season 4, Hannibal would have the rights to the character of Clarice Starling. I know in reality it’s complicated, but this is my hypothetical so I can get the rights to whoever I want!
It’s been long established how much I love No Exit triangles, and Clarice/Will/Hannibal would be a good one. It might seem like having both Clarice and Will would be redundant, but they have a green/jaded dichotomy that could really add up to something. In order to get them all in a push/pull dynamic, though, they would have to be in a reverse The Silence of the Lambs situation, where Will would be the one in prison trying to help Clarice catch Hannibal. That way, Will could feel torn between Clarice, who represents the innocent version of himself from before Jack tapped him to help the FBI, and Hannibal, the man he suspects is the only one who sees him for who he truly is.
But something would have to happen to get Will’s ire up at Hannibal again, something that would give him the anger and motivation to want to catch him. Perhaps that motivation could be…jealousy? Let’s say it’s a split season again, and they start off as murder husbands in Cuba, which is what’s been said in interviews about what a fourth season would’ve been. That can’t last forever, though. Maybe another possible transformation-in-waiting catches Hannibal’s eye, and Hannibal devotes all his time and attention to coax it along. (Maybe this new killer is a dude with a thing for moths?) And perhaps they go too far, and kill someone Will doesn’t think deserves it. Then Will could feel rejected by Hannibal and turn himself in, which would be a mirror image of the way Hannibal felt rejected by Will and allowed himself to be captured in “Digestivo.” And then it could roll into my reverse Silence of the Lambs triangle.
Dessert: What Do I Do Now?
Now that I’ve finished my Hannibal run-through (twice), where do I go from here?
I can’t follow Hugh to Law & Order. A show with just, like, regular killers? Who don’t quote Dante and have lavish dinner parties with ornate, skull-festooned centerpieces? No thanks.
This summer, I finished Evil. That hit some of the same spots, with cool demon creature designs, but the yearning was not as powerful as Hannibal.
I will watch The Dust Bunny when it comes out. That’s like a partial Hannibal, because it’s Bryan Fuller directing Mads Mikkelsen. But it’s described as a horror movie with a kid as the main character, so again I’m out of luck with respect to the thwarted romance.
I know a lot of fans have gone on to Interview With a Vampire. I’m sure there’s burning desires in that one. I’d love to hear opinions about whether or not it’s actually good.
Or I could just watch Hannibal again. Maybe this time, with commentary.
Also, she is totally not a dude!
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