THE CHRISTMAS _________ GAME

 

November 22, 2013: Jesse was musing on Twitter about the Fathom Events presentation of Glenn Beck’s The Christmas Sweater, which we’d seen advertised every time we’d been to a movie that month. Sensing a need, he put out a call on Twitter for a similar story he could call his own and ride to seasonal riches. By that evening, he’d received the following list.

NOTE: Neither of us have read or seen The Christmas Sweater.

ChristmasGame1 ChristmasGame2

1. The Christmas Socks – Mother dies right after knitting socks. They warm son’s heart, feet.

2. The Christmas Casserole – Christmas dinner is ruined at the soup kitchen, but if everybody pitches in they can pull off a Christmas miracle/casserole.

3. The Christmas Bell – Will the church raise enough money to fix the bell by Christmas morning? (Yes.)

4. The Christmas Facebook Post – Jesus returns…on Facebook! Hoax or miracle?

5. The Christmas Turkey – Story of a wild turkey. Trials, triumphs, eventually ending up as Christmas dinner. Circle of life type thing.

6. The Christmas Hankie – Young girl finds extra set of initials embroidered on beloved grandfather’s handkerchief. Seeks out the one that got away to return it to her.

7. The Christmas Handshake – A chance meeting at a Christmas party begins a year of friendship, loss and love.

8. The Christmas Gym Shorts – A boy promises his ailing father that he’ll make it to the top of the rope in gym class by Christmas.

9. The Christmas High Five – Frat next door to a failing orphanage shoots for the Guinness Book stat of most consecutive high fives to save frat house, learn true meaning of brotherhood, save orphanage instead.

10. The Christmas Player Piano – Three young children struggle to earn money to replace their regular piano with a player piano that can play the songs their grandmother used to play their mother.

11. The Christmas Toothbrush – A little boy spends December desperately hoping for his two front teeth to come in so he can use his special Christmas toothbrush on Christmas Eve.

12. The Christmas Jammies – As a woman gets ready for bed on Christmas eve, flashbacks show us what Christmas has meant to her over the years.

13. The Christmas Frown Lines – A curmudgeonly plastic surgeon dreads Christmas each year until an ugly young woman gives him a change of heart.

14. The Christmas Fork – After bringing their Christmas tree home, a family discovers a dinner fork embedded in the trunk. The story of how it ended up there leads to the most unusual Christmas dinner ever.

15. The Christmas Lampshade – A childless couple’s new lamp draws the attention of the lonely girl across the street.

16. The Christmas Paypal Transaction – What begins as negative eBay feedback for a Christmas gift leads to the unmasking of Jingle83 and…true love?

17. The Christmas Necktie – The inventor of the Santa Claus necktie has power and success but not love. But perhaps a face from the past will change everything.

18. The Christmas Bolo Tie – Christmas at the rodeo, as a young buckaroo deals with the loss of his grandfather and an ornery bull that nobody could love.

19. The Christmas Dog Collar – Same as the Christmas Necktie, but with dogs.

20. The Christmas Jackhammer – When a heartbroken foreman keeps the construction site open on Christmas Eve, a broken jackhammer brings Christmas to the site.

21. The Christmas Coffee Mug – Grieving parents discover that they accidentally sold the mug their child always drank hot chocolate from. Their search to recover it helps them to heal, hope again.

22. The Christmas Lightbulb – Like Santorum’s The Christmas Candle, but with a CFL bulb in place of the candle.

23. The Christmas Backpack – A young shoplifter gets caught with a backpack full of gifts for her widowed father. The concerned security guard decides to give them a merry Christmas.

24. The Christmas Suitcase – A compulsive traveler and a lonely flight attendant share Christmas on a red-eye.

25. The Christmas Locket – An old man discovers that his deceased wife had drawings of the children she always wished they’d had in the locket she wore around her neck. Then, at church, he sees a family that looks just like the drawings!

26. The Christmas Candy Bar – A quirky kid leaves a candy bar out for Santa Claus instead of cookies, setting of a chain reaction of teasing that leads to him fleeing Christmas Mass. Will his family find him in time for their Christmas dinner?

27. The Christmas Lapel Pin – A young man is embarrassed to be overdressed at a Christmas party, until a young woman sees his lapel pin and begins to cry. Can he solve the mystery and save her Christmas?

28. The Christmas Jockey – A jockey spends Christmas Eve caring for his sick horse, with the help of a cynical degenerate gambler.

29. The Christmas Tortillas – A clerical error means that the family has to rally together to make one thousand home-made tortillas before Christmas, or the parents will lose their business, house.

30. The Christmas Sausage – A poor man, at the end of his rope, can only afford a sausage for Christmas dinner. Could this melt the heart of the bitter, frosty street vendor?

31. The Christmas Jacket – A little girl leaves her jacket on the playground over Christmas break, and when a homeless man shows up to return it both of their Christmases are changed.

32. The Christmas Radio – A depressed deejay at a Christmas radio station touches the hearts of her listeners, but can a listener touch her heart?

33. The Christmas Seminar – A materialistic, atheist motivational speaker loses everything, wanders into mass on Christmas Eve and realizes how to remake her career.

34. The Christmas Wrench – A kind woman stops to help a stranded motorist, starting a roadside tradition as they meet again Christmas after Christmas.

35. The Christmas Identity – A young man wakes up with no memory of who he is and a young woman helps him investigate as they learn that he was a sad, angry man with no Christmas spirit. Can he change?

36. The Christmas Supremacy – The young woman in the first movie dies on Christmas, and he loses his sense of spirituality again and must fight to regain it.

37. The Christmas Ultimatum – See above. This one takes place partly during the story of the second film.

38. The Christmas Ticket Stub – When two grown children are shocked to discover a ticket stub for a burlesque show in their deceased mother’s purse, but the real surprises come as they learn just who their mother was and the real meaning of charity.

39. The Christmas Loan Payment – An elderly couple tangle with a bitter bank manager and refuse to leave the bank on Christmas Eve until their daughter arrives with the loan payment that will save their house from foreclosure.

40. The Christmas Baseball – When they lose their baseball through the curmudgeonly old man’s window, only one little girl is brave enough to venture in to get it, changing both of their hearts.

41. The Christmas Yacht – When a bickering family gets in trouble on a Christmas Eve cruise, they have to band together as a crew if they’re going to have a merry Christmas.

42. The Christmas Pistol – A depressed magician scares his assistant by insisting on adding the bullet catch to their Christmas Eve show. To save his life she’ll need to change his heart, show him the real magic of Christmas.

43. The Christmas Avocado – When a young woman gets an avocado as her Secret Santa gift, her attempt to find answers leads her to following a co-worker to mass on Christmas Eve.

44. The Christmas Glasses – When a young woman puts on her dead father’s glasses, she sees her father’s memories of their Christmases together.

45. The Christmas Stapler – A schoolteacher discovers that a student has taken her stapler to make Christmas cards for his missing mother. Her blog post about it becomes a media sensation and a reporter joins up with the teacher to find the mother by Christmas.

46. The Christmas Cookie Cutter – On the first Christmas without their mother, two children try desperately to find a cookie cutter that matches the kinds of cookies she used to make for them.

47. The Christmas JPEG – A mysterious email foreword with an image of the baby Jesus is traced back to an abandoned computer. A widowed scientist tried to teach it the true meaning of Christmas, but while she thought she was a failure, a reporter shows what she’s done, heals her heart.

48. The Christmas Christmas – Christmas Christmas when a Christmas Christmases. Will Christmas finally Christmas?

49. The Christmas Centipede – When a centipede bite sends a little girl to the hospital on Christmas morning, her estranged parents have to do their best to give her a Christmas dinner in her hospital bed.

50. The Christmas Bindle – When a normally jolly and generous man refuses to join them at the trashcan fire, it’s up to the other hobos to find out what secrets await in his bindle.

Nathaniel