Tag Archives: get rich quick schemes

BEST OF 2014: SportsAlcohol.com

Rob is one of the founders of SportsAlcohol.com. He is a recent first time home buyer and it's all he talks about. Said home is in his hometown in Upstate New York. He never moved away and works a job to pay for his mortgage and crippling chicken wing addiction. He is not what you would call a go-getter. This may explain the general tone of SportsAlcohol.com.

2014 was SportsAlcohol.com‘s first year of true existence. After years of us joking about the most perfect domain name, I bought it last December and made our first post this past January. Even though we didn’t have much of a plan, things kind of snowballed from there. Branching out from our core group of founders, we got a lot of our friends to contribute articles, blurbs, lists, comments, and their voices (to our podcast). Without checking with anyone else, I decree the following to be the best SportsAlcohol.com content of 2014!

Continue reading BEST OF 2014: SportsAlcohol.com

The Sport of Kings (Not Poker) (Or Darts): Handicapping the Breeder’s Cup

Jason didn't mean what he said, unless it was bad and he said it about Chipper Jones. Contrary to what he may have told you, he is not a hot air balloon salesman.His favorite jam is "No Hay Amigo"

because there are no friends

Many years ago, three of the more popular sports in the United States were baseball, boxing, and horseracing. You could ask a cross-section of the American public who won the most recent World Series, who was the Heavyweight Champion of the World, and what horse won the Kentucky Derby and they would be able to tell you. While baseball remains reasonably popular, coming in at third place behind football and basketball, boxing and horse racing have fallen by the wayside.

Many people could tell you that the Boston Red Sox won the 2013 World Series and that the Giants just won this year. Fewer people could name this year’s Kentucky Derby champion, California Chrome, and fewer still 2013’s winner, Orb. I’m not even sure who would be considered the current Heavyweight Champion of the world and I doubt you know either. Maybe one of those huge Russian (Klitchko? Klitcsho? Klisctko?) brothers? According to the Google Machine it’s actually spelled Klitschko and all of the Heaveyweight belts (more than one?) were held by one them until December 15, 2013 when Vitali stepped down. In case you were interested, World Boxing Council (WBC) lists Canadian BermaneStiverne as the champion while the World Boxing Association (WBA) has Uzbekistani RusianChagaev with the belt. Ever heard of either of them? Didn’t think so. Back to the horses.

Even though the Kentucky Derby is probably the best-known race, at least in the United States, it may not be the most important. There are many races through the world with larger purses. The purse for the Kentucky Derby is currently a paltry two and a half million dollars while the Dubai World Cup is ten million. Other races with purses larger than the Race for the Roses include the Melbourne Cup, Japan Cup, and Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe. Some people in the horse-racing world count the Breeder’s Cup Classic as the most important race in the United States; it’s certainly the richest, with a five million dollar purse.

The Breeder’s Cup Classic is the culminating race of The Breeder’s Cup, a two day spectacle with a total combined purse of $25.5 million. The series of races is usually held at different track each year; this year it will be held at Santa Anita Park in Arcadia California for the second year in a row. The Classic is a race for horses that are at least three years old and run on a left-handed dirt track at a distance of one and a quarter miles, the same distance as the Kentucky Derby. Since the Classic is one of the last major Grade 1 Stakes races of the year and has the largest purse for an American race it makes sense that it attracts some of the best horses. The winner of each leg of this year’s Triple Crown — the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, the Belmont, and unofficial fourth leg, the Travers — will be racing this Saturday along with the winners of other major (if less well-known) races. Since so many of the horses that run in Classic are of such high quality, it is incredibly hard to predict who will win. Which is why I’m going to do just that.

What makes me, Sports Alcohol’s (self-appointed) gambling correspondent an expert handicapper able to predict this year’s Breeder’s Cup Classic? Quite simply, the following two qualifications:

1. I was born and raised in Saratoga Springs, New York. I’ve been around, talked to, and learned from owners, trainers, and jockeys for years. I’ve been reading the racing form since I was about six years old. Basically, horse racing is in my blood.

2. I’m pretty much a degenerate gambler.

In addition to providing a short explanation of how I think each horse will perform, I’ve arranged to provide the picks of other handicappers that I will be going head to head with to predict the results of this race. I will be using my vast knowledge of horse racing along with hours (maybe one hour) of research. These other handicappers will be using the tried and true method of picking horses by name alone. Since this race is being contested by three and four year old horses, I have enlisted the help of three and four year old human beings, children of my friends, to compete with. I will win.
Continue reading The Sport of Kings (Not Poker) (Or Darts): Handicapping the Breeder’s Cup

Fake Spoiler Alert: The Divergent Movie

Jesse is a cofounder of SportsAlcohol.com even though he doesn't care for sports or alcohol. His favorite movie is Ron Howard's The Paper. I think. This is what happens when you don't write your own bio. I know for sure likes pie.

The movie Divergent comes out this week. Before the movies of Harry Potter and The Hunger Games came out, I read the books to orient myself in the beloved world of these properties. I have not read Divergent. But I have seen the trailer a bunch of times. I am seeing a press screening of the movie tonight so I thought I should explain what I think this movie is going to be like.

What I Assume Happens in the Movie Divergent Based Only On Watching the Trailer a Bunch of Times

Backstory delivered by opening narration: 100 years ago, there was some kind of war, possibly topiary in nature. Then someone declared color-war and divided everyone by their shirts.

Shailene Woodley plays a character who I think is called Tris, a girl who gets up on roofs and admires the peace topiary while also kind of wondering what it all means, also is maybe kind of Amish or something. She is almost ready to go to vocational school and her affectionate boss at the barn where she works is played by Ashley Judd.

On orientation day, everyone and their families, or bosses if they don’t have families, goes to hear a lecture from Kate Winslet’s character, who I will assume is called the Peacekeeper. She explains the rules of color-war and then all the teenagers, even the ones from the Amish districts, have to go get tested to figure out what team they’re on. So the teens get tested on skills such as getting injections, knowing object permanence in a world of mirrors, dog-hugging, and hitting floors when you fall on them.

dog hugging

Continue reading Fake Spoiler Alert: The Divergent Movie

What Is SportsAlcohol.com?

There are contrarians, there are iconoclasts, and then there is SportsAlcohol.com co-founder Marisa. A contraiclast? Her favorite Springsteen album came out this century, so she is basically a controversy machine.

Also, she is totally not a dude!

It is not something akin to gin + Gatorade. That would be disgusting.

Is it even about sporting events? Is it even about spirits? Who’s to say?

It is not an excuse for its creators to write hit pieces about each other, though that might factor into it. Perhaps quite a bit.

It, like many of its peers, has a blank space on the sides and a narrow column in the middle. That’s where the good stuff goes, in case you didn’t know where to look.

It is not a long con. If someone gets set up and goes to jail when it’s all over, that’s just a side benefit.

It is not a get-rich-quick scheme, though its name is reminiscent of three things that often make people rich: sports, alcohol, and tech. (Yes, you always pronounce the “.com” in SportsAlcohol.com.) If you have a get-rich-quick scheme, send it to us for Shark Tank-style evaluation. Then again, if it’s legal and looks like it’ll work, we’ll probably steal it and do it without you.

It is not an idea that was submitted to us and stolen. Most of the time—with one notable exception—when people get the idea for SportsAlcohol.com, they keep it to themselves.