That Time Rob Made Sabrina Listen to Rush: “I Hate Them So Much, I Don’t Want To Write This”

Sabrina is a SportsAlcohol.com co-founder. She doesn't really like to contribute writing per se, but she is definitely living the SportsAlcohol.com lifestyle
Sabrina

[Note: In keeping with the alcohol portion of sportsalcohol, I was drunk when I wrote most of this. I needed to be drunker.]

GOOD GOD I DON’T EVEN WANT TO READ WIKIPEDIA TO RESEARCH THIS.

They are collectively hideous. Husband says that one dude’s hair is amazing in this photo IT IS NOT.

Now. Husband is making me watch some horrible “Tom Sawyer” video. That keyboard riff is being played one-handed and I think I have the skills to do it  (which says absolutely nothing).

HE WON’T LET ME TURN THIS OFF  FEELING STABBY.

I’m half Canadian. I am wishing I am not on the off-chance some ancestor of mine IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS EXISTING.

NERDS! THEY HAVE SONGS TITLED “RIVENDELL” AND “THE NECROMANCER”. There is a song about trees. (I realize it is a metaphor, but it is a terrible one.)

I hate men singing in falsetto. This is like…I don’t even know. When I was, like, 10 and listened to NKOTB, I HATED any song Jordan sang JUST because of the falsetto AND THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE. It’s like falsetto in a fish tank or when you talk into an oscillating fan.

WANT TO STRANGLE HUSBAND FOR MAKING ME LISTEN TO THIS FOR “INSPIRATION.”  HE HAS TAKEN THE REMOTE MY CIVIL RIGHTS!

THE LYRICS ARE ATROCIOUS. Seriously, I would expect comparable, if not better, writing in some sort of high school literary publication.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS SONG IS. THERE ARE HARDLY ANY WORDS AND JUST ENDLESS BORING GUITAR & DRUM SOLOS.

I FORGOT IT WAS THE TREE SONG! FUCK!

TRACK MARKS: “Mississippi Goddam” by Nina Simone

Sara is big into reading and writing fiction like it's her job, because it is. That doesn't mean she isn't real as it gets. She loves real stuff like polka dots, indie rock, and underground fight clubs. I may have made some of that up. I don't know her that well. You can tell she didn't just write this in the third person because if she had written it there would have been less suspect sentence construction.
Sara

Song of the Week is a feature where SportsAlcohol editors, staffers, friends, and other assorted experts write a bit about a particular song that they love or hate or respect. Sara kicks this feature off with a song to cap off the real bad August our country has just experienced.

“The name of this tune is ‘Mississippi Goddam’,” Nina Simone says at the start. “And I mean every word of it.” It’s a sentiment that must have startled the largely white crowds who came to see her perform in 1964. The previous year had seen the murder of Medgar Evers and the deaths of four girls in the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing. Race relations across the country were roiling and many feared a long road ahead for both sides of the divide. Simone, though, was never afraid to be confrontational, even explosive, with her listeners and the live recordings of “Mississippi Goddam” have a righteous urgency, punctuated by uncomfortable audience laughter, that is still impossible to brush off even fifty years on.

Simone wrote the song in an hour but it contains decades of suppressed anger. The bouncy piano melody she chose provides an ironic underline to the caustic lyrics of pain and strife. After name-checking the Southern states that were the sites of major oppression and violence, she devotes several lines to mocking the legacy of black subservience. “You lied to me all these years,” she fumes, “Told me to wash and clean my ears. And talk real fine just like a lady. And you’ll stop calling me Sister Sadie.” It builds to a call and response with her singers as she rattles off the demands of the movement (“Mass participation/Desegregation”) and they shout back, “Too slow!” — inciting action over caution. She performed it both for the civil rights marchers at Selma and in concert at Carnegie Hall. While many protest songs of the era aimed for uplift, Simone’s remains arresting for its undeniable fury. She isn’t blowing in the wind; she’s the wind itself.

To listen to “Mississippi Goddam” now, in the wake of the clashes in Ferguson, among countless other injustices, is to face simultaneously how far we’ve come and how much work is still left. “You don’t have to live next to me,” Simone proclaims at the song’s end. “Just give me my equality.” Now that the latter has been won, it’s up to us to do the rest.

If you want to do a Song of the Week, get at us on Twitter or Facebook or email.

The SportsAlcohol Podcast: Top 10 Summer Movies of 1994

Rob is one of the founders of SportsAlcohol.com. He is a recent first time home buyer and it's all he talks about. Said home is in his hometown in Upstate New York. He never moved away and works a job to pay for his mortgage and crippling chicken wing addiction. He is not what you would call a go-getter. This may explain the general tone of SportsAlcohol.com.
Rob

Like all the hot websites, SportsAlcohol.com is all about celebrating meaningless anniversaries. Join us as Rob and Jesse attempt to cash in by looking twenty years back in time at the top ten movies of the summer of 1994.

You can subscribe to our podcast using the rss feed. You can download the mp3 of this episode directly here. You can also listen in  the player below.

Robin Williams Is My Favorite Actor in 1992

Jesse is a cofounder of SportsAlcohol.com even though he doesn't care for sports or alcohol. His favorite movie is Ron Howard's The Paper. I think. This is what happens when you don't write your own bio. I know for sure likes pie.
Jesse

Robin Williams is my favorite actor. It is 1992.

Before this, my favorite actor is Rick Moranis. Before that, Christopher Lloyd. How I determine my favorite actor is: I count up the number of my favorite movies that he appears in. A metric perfect in its simplicity and utter ineptitude.

But by this metric, Robin Williams is doing something right, having starred in The Fisher King and then Hook, which I cannot yet find any fault with except possibly the Lost Boys who remind me of Ninja Turtles, and then doing the voice of the Genie in Aladdin, which is even better than when he does the voice of the bat in FernGully: The Last Rainforest.

But Robin Williams is not winning a number game. I’ve only just become aware of him — at least compared to Christopher Lloyd, who I have been aware of since at least 1988.
Continue reading Robin Williams Is My Favorite Actor in 1992

On the ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ Soundtrack/Mix Tape: Maybe Just Don’t?

Gripes
There are contrarians, there are iconoclasts, and then there is SportsAlcohol.com co-founder Marisa. A contraiclast? Her favorite Springsteen album came out this century, so she is basically a controversy machine.

Also, she is totally not a dude!
Marisa
Gripes

If there were any worries that Peter Quill & Co. didn’t get enough money, praise, love, etc. this weekend, everyone can rest assured knowing they were also a hit on the music charts: The Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack album, cutely titled Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1 (awww), apparently debuted at No. 3 on The Billboard 200.

Now, I love the use of music in this movie. I appreciate that it focused on the pop-rock (and not disco) hits of the 1970s, a genre that hasn’t been done to death in recent movies the way 1980s pop has. I feel grateful that they were at least thinking of a way to ground the movie on Earth while the characters deal with space mumbo-jumbo. I also admire the way happy songs are used during sad or serious scenes, skirting right up to the line of irony without really crossing it—or, at least, without hitting the irony button too much.

It’s just…

[Note: Thar be spoilers beyond this point.]

Continue reading On the ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ Soundtrack/Mix Tape: Maybe Just Don’t?

The SportsAlcohol Podcast: Guardians of The Galaxy

Rob is one of the founders of SportsAlcohol.com. He is a recent first time home buyer and it's all he talks about. Said home is in his hometown in Upstate New York. He never moved away and works a job to pay for his mortgage and crippling chicken wing addiction. He is not what you would call a go-getter. This may explain the general tone of SportsAlcohol.com.
Rob

A majority SportsAlcohol.com’s team found themselves upstate for opening weekend of Guardians of The Galaxy, so we did a podcast about it. In a discussion moderated by Marisa, we discuss the movie’s biggest laughs, the strengths and inherent limitations of the Marvel Film’s house style as a growing brand, the cruel trick Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson pulled on Hollywood, and the AM pop hits of the 1970’s.

You can subscribe to our podcast using the rss feed. You can download the mp3 of this episode directly here. You can also listen in  the player below.